Suicide: Are We Our Brother's Keeper?

                      by Connie Saindon, MA, MFT, CTS

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   Are you suicidal?
   Is there someone you know is who is?
   What to do!

   Warning signs:
          o Threatening suicide
          o Preoccupation with death
          o Making arrangements, setting one's affairs in order
          o Depression (crying, sleep problems, not eating, hopelessness)

          o Reckless Behavior
          o Has had recent major losses

   Here are some facts about suicide from the National Institute of
   Mental Health. Their report in 1996 reveals the following concerning
   completed suicides in the United States in 1993.

   Did you know that:
          o Suicide is the 9th leading cause of deaths.
          o The total number of deaths from suicide in 1993 was 31,102.
          o Teen suicide is on the rise. Between 1950 and 1992, suicide
          among adolescents nearly tripled.
          o Suicide by firearms is the most common method for both men
          and women, accounting for 61% of all suicides.
          o More women than men die of suicide, the ratio is 4"1.
          o Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young
          people 15 to 24 years of age.
          o The highest rate of suicide is for persons over 65.
          o Reliable research has found that there are approximately 8-25
          attempts to one completion.

   What are some risk factors?
          o Risk factors for suicide occur frequently in combination with
          other risk factors.
          o Scientific research has shown that almost all people who kill
          themselves have a diagnosable mental or substance abuse
          disorder, the majority have more than one disorder.
          o Adverse life events in combination with another strong risk
          factor such as a mental or substance abuse disorder.

   Family factors that contribute to risk:
          o A family history with mental or substance abuse disorder
          o Family history of suicide
          o Family violence including physical, emotional and sexual
          abuse

   Other risk factors include:
          o Prior suicide attempt
          o Firearm in the home
          o Incarceration
          o Exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, including
          family, peers, and/or media news or fiction stories.

   Suicide Leftovers:

   Suicide leaves a sea of guilt and a mountain of questions. Whether or
   not one could do something to prevent a death can not be answered
   completely once someone dies but the questioning remains in various
   degrees with those who are left. Questions such as: "If I had only..."
   plague survivors. No one can answer the question for you but perhaps
   the following will help you in reference to the following three
   situations.


          1. with someone you are concerned about
          2. if you yourself are suicidal
          3. if you have lost someone to suicide.

   Myths related to suicide:
          o Suicidal behaviors are not normal responses to life stresses.

          o The majority of suicide attempts are expression of extreme
          distress that need to be addressed and not just a harmless bid
          for attention.
          o People who talk about suicide won't really do it. NOT TRUE!
          Most talk about their intentions directly and indirectly before
          they do. An indirect remark might be that someone would be
          better of without them.
          o Talking about suicide may give someone the idea. NOT TRUE!
          o If a person is determined to kill him/herself, nothing is
          going to stop the. NOT TRUE!

   10 Tips About What To Do:
          1. When you hear direct or indirect comments, don't be afraid
          to talk about it. Not talking about it does not reduce the
          threat and may send the wrong message that you don't care.
          2. Listen, take what they say as their truth.
          3. Don't deal with this alone, tell others of your concern and
          what you heard.
          4. Call a professional counselor to get their opinion. Consult
          your local library for local hotline and crisis numbers.
          5. Form a small army to share the concern about this person.
          Resist being pushed away, people who are seriously suicidal
          often act in ways that push people away.
          6. Realize that for most people, feeling suicidal is temporary.
          Problems and issues may not become resolved without
          professional help. Encourage your loved one to make an
          appointment with a mental health professional in your area.
          7. Offer reasons you can think of that they may want to live
          for. Gently remind them that they may not want to pass on
          suicide as a coping strategy to people that they care about.
          8. If you can, form a watch schedule with others to be with
          and/or check up on your person of concern around the clock
          until danger passes.
          9. Give yourself permission to break a confidence if you have
          promised not to tell, in doing so you may save a life.
          10. Get some support for yourself, let others know what you are
          dealing with and ask for additional support. And remember if
          you are the one who is suicidal, apply these tips to yourself.

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   Connie Saindon, MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and
   Certified Trauma Specialist. She provides professional counseling in
   her practice in San Diego and in La Jolla with Women's Health
   Specialists.


          Copyright c 1996 by Pioneer Development Resources, Inc.
                          All rights reserved