SEX, SOCIETY & THE DISABLED
                      By Rosemary Musachio
                            Editor of:
The Able Informer

     American society is trying so hard to accommodate its
disabled population.  Ramps have been constructed for new
buildings, handlebars have been installed in public rest rooms,
and wheelchairs lifts appear in some public buses.  Employers are
finally starting to recognize that people with disabilities can
be productive and be an asset to their business--even though some
hire them to avoid legal suits.  And the educational
mainstreaming process is going full blast, with disabled kids
being transferred from special schools to regular public ones.
     But what about sex?  Somehow our American culture--and
probably other cultures as well--cannot associate being disabled
with being sexual.  Some people think since we can't walk or have
good dexterity, we don't experience orgasms or erections.
Although the latter holds true for people who are paralyzed, not
all disabled people are paralyzed.  Most of us can make love like
"normal" people.  Even those of us who are paralyzed and thus
can't feel anything below the waist can still "make love" by
hugging, kissing, and touching.  Yet society does not know or
understand that.  If one is in a wheelchair, it is automatically
assumed that the individual cannot make love or cannot satisfy
the other person, especially if the latter is able-bodied.
     Accordingly, there's this idea that people who have
disabilities have to date and marry others like them, just as
African Americans have to marry other African Americans.  When a
beautiful, able-bodied woman becomes involved with a handsome
disabled man, people tend to ask the following questions: Is she
that desperate for a man?  How do they make love?  How can she
find him attractive?  Of course, these brilliant inquiries can
also target an able-bodied man going with a disabled woman.
     The media has a tremendous impact on fostering the
misconception of disabled people being asexual.  Take the Miss
America or Miss USA pageant.  Now there's a non-bias show!
Notice who are the contestants: women who have perfect legs,
perfect arms, perfect eyes and, yes, perfect speech--although
most of them don't show perfect sense in their perfect speech.
     To compensate for the lack of imperfect women, some
sympathetic--more like pathetic actually--genius created the Miss
Wheelchair American pageant.  Gee, our own separate pageant.  At
least if we compete among ourselves, we can be certain one of us
disabled girls will win.  After all, if we compete in one of the
televised pageants, the judges are liable to give us a low score
for not standing up straight--or not standing at all.
     Men's and women's magazines also fuel the misconception of
asexuality for not standing up straight--or not standing at all.
     Men's and women's magazines also fuel the misconception of
asexuality being prevalent within the disabled sector.  Playboy,
for example, made a feeble attempt in showing that disabled women
can be sexy by having a centerfold of one.  Ironically, the legs
of the centerfold model were covered.  More hypocritically, she
didn't even pose in her wheelchair.  I guess Playboy was afraid
to show her real beauty, figuring she'd outshine the "normal"
models and redefine sexuality altogether.
     At least it tried.
     Movies and television programs are worse.  "Born on the
Fourth of July" and "Coming Home" have been the only films which
confirmed paralyzed men definitely can satisfy women's sex
drives.  Except for these two instances, when was the last time a
physically disabled person appeared in a passionate love scene?
Ironside didn't even get a chance to sweep women off their feet
as other TV, detectives do.  TV, probably dares to show such
scenes because people would view them as either kinky, offensive,
or just not arousing enough.  Gee, maybe Madonna should have
included us in her book.
     There's even a dating service for the disabled.  Give me a
break!  Are  we so hard up that we have to establish our own mate
mill to seek romantic fulfillment?  Like the creator of Miss
Wheelchair America, the founder of this dating service figured
the able-bodied single population is too picky, looking for only
those who can walk and talk.  Since the service explicitly
targets people with disabilities and those who want to date them,
it screams, "These are people who can't get companionship."
     Only when society can look beyond crutches and wheelchairs
to realize that people who have disabilities are sexual beings,
we can openly ask others, both disabled and able-bodied, to go
out, get married, or share our physical desire without ridicule
or segregation.  Only then can accessibility reach its height